Words Without Eyes

Gloved hands I do not want to touch it the bloody flesh keeping me from lunch swishing and swirling of gloved hands it isn't my calling to surgically remove hearts I've left then on the steel table I've accidentally taken one home thinking it was a part of me Today was rough. I just rested and took it easy all day.

Nothing makes sense while everything comes together. It's such a weird place to be. I'm excited to learn. I'm excited to have my energy back, but at the same time, I miss the boring. This, all this, is/was a wake up call. A it-can-all-be-wiped-away-but-your-words-are-forever kinda wake up call. And the pain, it hit so deep, I cried for days. I cried loud and quiet and screamed and left and reached out for clarity, but no one could give me anything because no one really knows what's really going on. They comfort and stand by me and love me while I writhe and drown in my own wake up call. So, when do the rules of reality cross over into fantasy and when does fantasy break the rules of reality. Is there really no etiquette? The boundaries just aren't clear and this is where I get so flustered. There should be rules, but then again, there are none with God, are there? Beside the laws of the universe, of course. Water is water, and cubes are cubes, and space has no o...

The thing about heartbreak is it's worse at night. And when you're heartbroken with a nursing baby getting no sleep, it's exhausting. I went through my day doing my normal routine. Went to the gym with my daughters and now I'm just sitting here writing, hoping sleep will make it's way to my heart. My heart needs rest. My eyes need rest. I just know, I'm going to get through this. I've been through it before. Just thought I've left that life behind me. I guess nothing is really set in stone. The past can always return, the future can always taunt. All we can do is learn to get better at braving the storms.