Words Without Eyes

Gloved hands I do not want to touch it the bloody flesh keeping me from lunch swishing and swirling of gloved hands it isn't my calling to surgically remove hearts I've left then on the steel table I've accidentally taken one home thinking it was a part of me Today was rough. I just rested and took it easy all day.

Nothing makes sense while everything comes together. It's such a weird place to be. I'm excited to learn. I'm excited to have my energy back, but at the same time, I miss the boring. This, all this, is/was a wake up call. A it-can-all-be-wiped-away-but-your-words-are-forever kinda wake up call. And the pain, it hit so deep, I cried for days. I cried loud and quiet and screamed and left and reached out for clarity, but no one could give me anything because no one really knows what's really going on. They comfort and stand by me and love me while I writhe and drown in my own wake up call. So, when do the rules of reality cross over into fantasy and when does fantasy break the rules of reality. Is there really no etiquette? The boundaries just aren't clear and this is where I get so flustered. There should be rules, but then again, there are none with God, are there? Beside the laws of the universe, of course. Water is water, and cubes are cubes, and space has no o...

Things have calmed down. I almost don't want to say anything so I can appreciate the peace but I can't not say anything. I'm one who likes to take action or be proactive especially when it comes to how I will act in the future. I try my best to make the world work in favor of my situation. It definitely doesn't always work. Here's an example. I get tons of anxiety when I go to Disney world since it's like a childhood dream. So the anxiety makes digestion slow down. The night before I eat a healthy dinner, then eat a small breakfast later in the day. It helps so I don't have a stomach ache all day. That's just a small logical example not really. Writing helps me in so many ways. And reading helps me sleep. I always pack those two things if I'm going to be somewhere. Being proactive can be a lifesaver That's for sure.