9/21/2019



I'm unsure if I'm okay at this point. I mean, today, I was calm and secure. Scared, but with the awareness of it. I have questions like, why now? Of all the times to act out, why while I'm incapacitated. I say incapacitated not because I am weak and helpless, but because nursing a baby ties me to a huge responsibility. I can't explain much more than that. I would have been in a better place with all this if I didn't feel so restrained. I also know, if it wasn't one thing, it would be another. That is the line that gets me through. That and being like water: adaptable, strong, and consistent. Allowing myself to flow through this storm. This grounds me. It brings me to a place where regardless of the circumstance, I'm still water. I will not be changed, I will be water. I'm still sad. I'm still confused and feeling every chaos particle. With that, I am feeling more calm and secure since I've taken this idea into practice. 

Here's to growth and healing.

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